On Overthinking, Anxiety and Maturity
Overthinking has always been my go-to mechanism. It turns into sleep-depriving anxiety every now and then.
I've always been like this. I remember I used to have crippling anxiety towards a particular subject when I was in 6th grade. For the life of me, I couldn't wrap my head around it and the fear of not getting it right would cause me to cry in the dark on the roof of our house. I was 11.But I'm grateful for that. Grateful that I've had those experiences so early on. It's kinda like I got a head start on the emotional journey of life. A lot of people have told me that I sound 10 years older than I actually am. I've been through experiences that are uncommon for the society I inhabit. A combination of those and an innate personality is responsible for my seemingly early maturity. Though, when people say that they rarely mean it as a compliment.
Most people don't actually want to be around mature people, as they're deemed boring at times. Too mature for my own good, I've been called. It's mostly right after I challenge someone older on a topic that they did not expect to be challenged on by a 21-year-old.
My response is to usually shrug as an intelligent discussion about something important usually shouldn't be stifled only because a party is significantly younger.
I am aware that maturity implies experience. Of the latter, I'll admit I haven't had much. I am a self-diagnosed introvert. But I'll argue (or try to, to anyone who can manage to look past my age) that the amount of thought put in the matter, matters. Experiences and deep reflections aren't interchangeable.
Even on a purely probabilistic basis, I'm sure as I'll get older I'll accrue more of both experiences and reflections. But I'll lose much as well.
My cognitive capacities are at their peak right now. There's a reason older people tend to be conservatives. As we get older we tend to more and more lean towards the familiar. The thrill of novelty declines for most of us as we age.
Perspective is important in every discussion. Most 20 somethings aren't articulate or informed to talk on important issues. So the next time you encounter a 20 something that can actually hold a paragraph together, instead of being insulted, try to listen. You might learn something.
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